I knew in the back of my mind that raising a boy might be
different than raising a girl, but I didn't realize the difference would be
night and day. Then again maybe I'm
wrong in thinking it's a gender gap.
Perhaps it has nothing to do with
the fact that Adalynn is a girl and Wesley is a boy...... but everything to do
with the fact that they are just two different kids, and all children are
different even when being raised in the same house by the same parents with the
same parenting styles. So maybe it's not
fair for me to assume that Wesley is a nut simply because he's male, but for
the moment that's what I'm thinking and here's why.
Wes is into everything.
Granted, he's always been a busy little man moving from one hazard to
the next, but it's gotten worse. He now
has the bumps and bruises on display as proof of his adventures. On any given day he will tumble onto the
corner of a cabinet while trying to take a step, repeatedly stand up in the wet
slippery tub, try to crawl head-first down the stairs, and reach for items that
are so high that they topple on his head.
Not only does he love to partake in anything dangerous, but he also is
extremely mischievous. Wes throws all
sorts of items into the bathtub, wants to splash in the toilet bowl, pull all
of his wipes out of the dispenser, strew dirty clothes all over his room out of
the hamper, yank open the cabinet door and pull every movie we own out of the
TV stand, break Mommy's Willow figurines, dump any and all books within reach
onto the floor and tear out the pages, get into both the garbage and the
recyclables, and empty all dresser drawers of its contents (which is not cool
when the clean clothes get mixed in with the dirty clothes from the
hamper). I realize this is typical baby
actions because babies are all about exploring the world around them, even if
it means destroying everything in their path.
BUT with Adalynn we were able to get through to her with "No",
or "No touch", or "Not for Adalynn". When we say any of those things to Wesley, he
grins and/or laughs and continues to do whatever he dang well pleases. Redirecting doesn't work either. Wesley simply has no interest in his own toys
and only wants what he cannot have. It's
not like he's done all of those things only once - all are a repeat occurrence
in this house.
When Adalynn was a baby, she also thought it was fun to get
into the movies. We bought a new TV
stand with all enclosed cabinetry so she could no longer get to the movies, and
that was the end of the problem. Wesley,
however, has quickly figured out how to open up the cabinets on the same TV
stand. When Adalynn was a baby, I was
determined not to move all my decor or close off rooms for her sake, and she
learned to leave it all alone. But the
same isn't true with Wesley. I'm now to
the point where I'm giving up having all my nice stuff sitting out, and it is
all put away just so he no longer breaks anything. I'm also closing off rooms (like the
bathroom) just because I'm sick of him continuing to get into things he's not
supposed to (like the toilet). Adalynn
was always a good shopper and never caused problems at the store. Wesley stands in the shopping cart and
screams bloody murder if you strap him in so it's not possible to take him
shopping. Adalynn was always super
cautious and didn't get hurt all the time trying new things. If she got hurt once doing something, she
wouldn't attempt to do it again. Not so
with Wesley. The boy doesn't stop moving, no matter if he falls down the
stairs, tumbles onto a chair at church and bloodies his lip, or pulls a
bookcase down on himself. Yes, all of
those things have happened. Please don't
call DCFS on me. Despite already
successfully raising one baby to a preschooler, I seem to have no clue what I'm
doing with baby #2 simply because he's so different from his sister. I was so distraught last week that I told
Eddie it was time I went back to work because these kids would be better off
with pretty much anyone other than me.
But I have to try to remember that some days will be really bad, and
that doesn't necessarily mean it's all my fault. I just have to face the fact that our son is
tiresome.
Wesley is fearless about pretty much everything except for
walking. When it comes to walking, he
freezes. He can stand for long periods
of time and walk around easily with a
walker or holding our hand. He cruises
around the furniture all the time. He
has taken a couple of steps here and there, but he hasn't actually taken off
walking on his own. This surprises us
because his personality would totally dictate that he would be running by
now. But Adalynn started crawling at 11
months old so it's pretty cool that Wesley started taking a step or two at 11
months old. Update since I first started writing this:
Wesley took 8 steps on two different occasions today.
Wesley is behind Adalynn communicative-wise. She was talking saying "dada" and
"mama" and waving and so forth long before she turned one. Wesley will say those things, but not
necessarily in true reference to us. And
he finally started waving a few weeks ago and clapped for the first time last week. Ironically, both children clapped for the
first time to a music video. Wesley
clapped for the Fresh Beat Band, and Adalynn clapped to Michael Jackson's
"Thriller". (What kind of
parents are we?!) I realize that not all
boys are behind girls in this area (Joey and Eli come to mind as two little
dudes who are brilliant). But in our
case, we have the stereotypical male who is more physically capable than
intellectually.
Wesley has a few
other quirks - like he refuses to feed himself anything other than Puffs. He wants to eat anything and everything, but
he would rather me put it in his mouth so he doesn't have to touch it
himself. He still won't even hold his
own bottle. The boy prefers to be
served. And he also doesn't have any
interest in TV (other than an occasional Fresh Beat Band video), but he does
LOVE the remote and must have it at all times.
He would be much happier channel surfing than actually watching
anything. And there's still the issue of
sleep -- or lack of it. He has only
slept through the night once during the last three months. For naps, he won't sleep unless we're holding
him or he's in the car. We are all so
sleep-deprived that it's no wonder we're losing our minds. I was telling some friends that it's probably
not even safe for me to be driving these kids around since I pretty much am in
a fog day in and day out. It's crazy
that the baby who was sleeping through the night at 4 months old has to get up
numerous times each night as he's approaching his first birthday. It doesn't make much sense, but then again what
boy does make sense?
So basically what it boils down to is that Wesley keeps us
on our toes and makes me a little batty.
But he's a sweetheart who I love to cuddle to pieces. Every time I start to rant about his latest
troubles, someone will tell me, "What do you expect? He's a boy". That he is.
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| Isn't he cute when we hide that awful hair? |
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| Escaped after a diaper change before getting his pants on |
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| Real men ride pink horses.... |
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| And pink cars! |
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| Don't let this picture of innocence fool you - pretty sure that was the day he peed in the tub, much to Addy's dismay |
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| Standing strong! |
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| Who me? |
