Worrisome Wes

We've all heard of Debbie Downer..... well move over, Deb, and make room for Worrisome Wes. 

Little Wesley is a good baby with a "chill" demeanor, so we can't help but wonder why he always looks like the weight of the world is on his shoulders when he opens those eyes.  It's not like he has anything to worry about - wouldn't it be nice to sleep all day and have someone else take care of every little want or need?   Lord knows Mommy is doing enough worrying these days about all sorts of issues to cover all bases (lack of sleep, pain management, work, prego weight, daycare, PPD, the never-ending "to-do" list, etc).  So what could Wesley possibly be fretting about?  Hmmmmm.............I can only imagine.....

They do realize I need to eat, right?  I mean, I know I've never missed a meal, but I don't want to be forgotten.  It's not like I'm hungry right this minute, but I will be eventually.  Oh, please don't forget to feed me..... 

Are they going to get a burp out of me this time?  Or are they only going to be successful getting sneezes, farts, and a case of the hiccups again?

That "Mom" lady seems suspicious -- always wanting me clean.  A soiled diaper or greasy hair never hurt anyone so why won't she leave me alone?

Why do most of my socks have grippers on the bottom?  I'm not supposed to be walking yet, am I?

Just what exactly is the point of this mobile?  The sheep and stars aren't out to get me, are they?

I have a feeling this book won't have a happy ending.....

One Week Old

I can't believe Wesley is already one week old today.  He must have decided he was big stuff and celebrated by staying awake for his longest streak yet.  Adalynn was so excited to see her little brother's eyes for longer than a split second.  Wesley had his one week follow-up appoinment with the pediatrician this morning.  He's gained back two of the ounces that he lost prior to leaving the hospital.  And even though he's one month premature, he is already on the growth charts in the 10th percentile for weight and 25th percentile for height.  (We say "already" because it took a few months before Adalynn made it on the growth chart).  The doctor isn't concerned about Wesley's conehead at all and thinks he has a "beautiful" head shape..... um, okay.  But I suppose she sees more babies than we do so we should take her word for it.  After the doctor's visit, we took Wesley on his first shopping trip to Target.  He was a good boy and never fussed in the store or in the car.  That's another difference between him and Adalynn - she hated to be in a car seat.  But this was Wesley's first excursion so we can't assume he will always be this well-behaved.  Here are some pictures from his first week at home......

Doing what he does best..... sleep

So handsome in brown and blue...

I'm one week old today!

Home Sweet Home

Despite technically being premature, Wesley passed all the necessary criteria to come home like a normal full-term baby with me on Saturday.  I'm very thankful that he's doing this well, but after being home for over a day, I have to admit it would have been nice to have some time to prepare for him a little bit.  While our house is clean (thanks to my wonderful sister-in-law) it's also disorganized; and anyone who knows me knows that disorganization can unravel me faster than pretty much anything else. 

It was wonderful leaving the hospital as a family of four - I cried happy tears just to be with my family out in the real world.  We get into the house, and Adalynn gave Wesley a tour of the main living areas.  She was VERY happy last night and the most hyper that Eddie has seen her in the last couple of months.  Within 15 minutes of being home, Wesley gave us a stinky diaper and started throwing a crying a fit; and while I'm in a mad scramble trying to find diapers/wipes/etc to change him, Eddie had to run out to the car to get our stuff from the hospital (like the Vaseline and gauze for his diaper changes) and in the meantime, Adalynn is going on and on about a big scary bug she just saw and is shouting about her discovery to be heard over Wesley's wails.  It then dawned on me that this is my life now!  Gotta love the chaos, and this is just the beginning!

Going Home From the Hospital

The recovery has not been very pleasant and is taking its toll on me.  Sure I had some tenderness and discomfort after Adalynn was born, but this is completely different.  I can handle the pain and swelling of the stitches and hemorrhoids more than I can handle the pain and swelling of my feet and back.  I know that sounds pathetic, but no pain medicine seems to be helping me at all.  My feet are so swollen that I cannot even put on shoes.  They feel like they're going to burst at any moment.  And with the constant back problems I have had my whole life anyway, the labor really did a number on me and I can barely walk.  I still don't have the full feeling back yet in my legs either.  The only thing I can figure is that maybe I'm having a harder time recovering due to the fact that I had no strength prior to giving birth because of the bed-rest and then to have a baby without pain relief of any kind probably didn't help matters when I was already in bad shape.  It's been really difficult dealing with this while also trying to play with Adalynn and organize my house.  I'm guessing the only thing that will help is to keep my feet up, but I've been doing that for so long already that I feel like a lazy fool doing it now.

Pucker Up!

Enough complaining.  Back to our new little boy............so far he is a really good little baby (and I do mean little - he was down to 6 pounds 8 ounces when we left the hospital).  He doesn't like to have his diaper changed or a sponge bath, but other than that he's pretty content most of the time.  I don't like to change his diaper either - I learned with the first diaper change that it's not nearly as easy to change a boy as it is to change a girl.  (He has an impressive high arch though!)  Wesley reminds me of a little gremlin with all the crazy grunting noises, growls, burps, and farts.  He's so cute when he grabs our fingers and refuses to let  go.  He and Eddie are my two couch potatoes and enjoy lounging in front of the TV all day long.  But Eddie does have Wesley spoiled so he has a hard time being put down now.  This made for an interesting night last night - as long as Eddie was with him, Wesley wanted to be held.  Once I took over, he was okay sleeping in his crib.  I am too uncomfortable to sleep in our bed downstairs so it's just easier for me to sleep upstairs on the couch and be nearby if the kids need me.  Believe it or not, Adalynn was up crying last night before Wesley.  That really surprised me; she hasn't done that for over a year (other than if she's sick, which she's not).  I'm hoping this isn't a new trend with her and was just a fluke. 

My Boys

I realize we have only known Wesley for three days so it's too soon to judge these things, but so far he and his sister are pretty much opposites in every way.  She was a crier and a high-maintenance baby.  He only fusses if we mess with him.  She only had a dirty diaper every three days or so; he poops almost more than he pees.  She couldn't keep her food down and spit up like crazy; he doesn't spit up but is a very sloppy eater.  As far as being held, she could take it or leave it; he's a snuggler.  She preferred to sleep on the wedge in her crib when she was this size; he doesn't want anything to do with that and has a fondness for Adalynn's old preemie pillow instead.  She required some white noise and music in order to get to sleep.  So far, Wesley seems to have no problems sleeping without any aids.  Of course, it's still very early and all of these things can change, but it's been interesting observing the differing trends so far.

My 2 Awesome Kids

Welcome to the World, Wesley!

Eight weeks of bed-rest, 48 hospitalized days, 9 books, 16 magazines, numerous crosswords/puzzles, endless monitor sessions, and 4 IVs later.............. he's here!  Wesley Bryant Thomas arrived on Thursday, February 16, 2012 at 1:50pm weighing in at 6 pounds 15 ounces and 19 inches long.  He was promptly grounded upon birth for all the grief he's given to his mother throughout the pregnancy.

The Labor

I knew something wasn't right Wednesday night on my evening monitor session.  His heart rate was lower than it normally is in the evenings and he wasn't moving around as much as he normally does.  Let's face it, our son is a night owl and the session was not reflecting that.  Yet the nurses still said he passed and took me off the monitor after the usual one hour run.  I was having contractions every 10 minutes and continued to do so up until I went to bed.  I figured I would hold off saying anything since they were spaced far apart and I wanted to see if the contractions woke me up in the middle of the night.  I was able to sleep from 11:15pm-3:45am even though I was still contracting during that time frame.  For whatever reason, I was no longer able to go back to sleep after my contractions once 3:45 hit, and from there I noticed I was still having contractions every 10 minutes.  This continued through the morning.  My doctor came in early to check my dilation around 9:00am and I was dilated to a 4, effaced at 90%, and she could feel our son's head.  After that, I got moved to Labor & Delivery.  After getting hooked up to an IV and given antibiotics, I was allowed to walk around the birthing center so I did that several times, tried to nap unsuccessfully, and talked to Adalynn's teacher for a while about her issues at the preschool.  Nothing seemed to change.  About 1:20pm my doctor came in to check my dilation and said I was at a 5, and she also broke my water.  She said I could continue to walk around as much as I wanted, and I was thinking this would be a long labor since it took 4 hours to dilate one centimeter.  I wasn't feeling like getting up just yet so I kept laying there and soon thereafter the contractions went from being annoying to downright painful, and I was convinced I had to push.  I started to panic and Eddie got a couple of nurses in there who calmed me down and checked my dilation again - I was already at a 9.5 in just those few minutes.  My doctor quickly came back, and of course by then it was too late to ask for any pain meds.  So Wesley arrived in quick fashion in less than a half hour, thankfully.

First Picture; Showing Off His Physique

Adalynn's Reaction

We wanted to make sure that Adalynn was the first to hear her brother's name and meet our newest addition so we had to wait until Wesley underwent all his evaluations and Adalynn arrived to the hospital before the name was revealed (hence the late announcement).  Adalynn gets to the hospital and as she's going from my Mother/Baby room to my room in Labor& Delivery, she was yelling "My baby came out!!!!" to anyone who would listen.  She pronounces his name "Wessely" , which is so cute.  She kept giving him hugs and kisses and held him a couple of times, and she gets this funny reaction when he cries that is a combination of shock, alarm, and excitement.  But she lost interest after about an hour.  We'll see how she reacts tomorrow.

Big Sis Adalynn with Little Bro Wesley

The Name

Wesley Bryant is a family name.  Eddie's middle name is Wesley, so our son is named after his father.  Bryant is the name of my uncle who introduced me and Eddie.  We thought it sounded like a strong confident name, and we hope Lil Mac grows up with those traits.

Named after Daddy

The Aftermath

As freaked out as I was about a normal childbirth, I never stopped to think about the fact that the recovery isn't so fabulous either.  All I can say is OUCH.  Now I get pain meds.  And unfortunately, my feet are still very swollen and I don't have the feeling back in my legs yet either.  I thought some things would go back to normal quickly, but I was mistaken.

Hey, this isn't fun for Mommy either

Our Boy

Wesley was crammed so low for so long (remember I started feeling pelvic pressure at 16 weeks) so as a result, he's got some serious conehead action going on.  Eddie says he would have been 18 inches long if it wasn't for his pointy noggin.  The wives tale is correct - he does have plenty of dark  hair, and not just on his head so that explains my terrible heartburn.  Despite the fact that he's technically premature, he obviously is good-sized and is doing well.  He hasn't had to go to the NICU, and the only preemie action they have taken is to check his blood-sugar levels before he eats to make sure his ranges are normal.  As long as that continues to go well and he can continue to keep his temperature on point without assistance, he's being treated like a term baby and can go home with me on Saturday.  Amazing. 

Our hairy Conehead







A Day in the Hospital Life

I still can't believe I'm only slightly over a week away from being considered "full-term."  Who wouldathunk?  I'm now experiencing the uncomfortable part of pregnancy - the extreme weight gain, swollen fat feet, a belly that hurts from being stretched to the max, and a funky walk that my dad said resembles a penguin.   No wonder the nurses are always smiling when they see me waddle by twice a day. 

While I like getting out to go for walks, seeing the activity around here can be somewhat depressing and makes me want to stay holed up in my room where I have no clue what's going on.  After the full moon last week, things got crazy here.  The Mother/Baby unit was still full due to a ton of C-Sections they had the day or two prior so when babies started coming left and right in Labor/Delivery, they couldn't move the delivered moms over to our area yet.  So Labor/Delivery also became a Mother/Baby unit.  In the meantime, the NICU got filled up so I actually was praying Lil Mac didn't come because there would have been nowhere to put him.  (Or me, for that matter - one poor woman was laboring in the hall because Labor/Delivery was full.  Thankfully, they were able to find room for her somewhere).  So on February 10, this hospital had already delivered over 50 babies this month.  Crazy!  It's not easy watching the other bed-rest moms who arrived after me leave before me.  It's hard seeing and hearing all these babies, knowing not one of them is mine.  I keep wondering when my turn will come.

I was telling Eddie yesterday that I feel as if I wasted so much time in the hospital, now that I've come this far.  It seems rather pointless, but he reminded me that if Mac had been born when this all started at 29 weeks, he would still be in the hospital and the stress of that situation would have been so much worse than the stress of our current situation.  He's right (but don't tell him I said so!)

One of the problems with having this much free time is that I have TOO much time to think about childbirth.  The closer we get to full-term, the more I realize this could be a "real" labor and I could be in for a rude awakening.  Because we have been unable to attend childbirth classes with both pregnancies, the nurses gave us a video to watch to help provide some insight and guidance.  Unfortunately, the video was from the early 80s, and Eddie and I had a hard time getting past the feathered hair, short shorts on the guys, and mullets to fully pay attention to the recommended birthing techniques.  I have already forgotten at what counts I'm supposed to "hee" and "hoo".  So I spend every morning watching back-to-back episodes of A Baby Story, which seems more realistic anyway.  But admittedly I'm still a bit freaked out knowing that this time it will feel like I'm giving birth to a toddler in comparison to my experience with Adalynn.  I just wish we could get this over with!

Last Goal Reached

I have set a few goals here and there along the way.  For the longest time, I only wanted to get to 30 weeks and surpass Adalynn's length of time in the womb.  Once that happened, I wanted to get to 32 weeks so I could return to the Quad Cities.  I made that goal and set a new goal of 35 weeks for no apparent reason other than it just sounded like a long time.   And here I am in my 35th week of pregnancy and 40th day in the hospital.  It's hard to believe that I could go into labor at 29 weeks and still be pregnant with a little guy who doesn't appear to be budging this many weeks later.   Apparently these medical professionals know what they're doing.  I'm not setting any more goals - I'm ready at any time.

Starting today, I can walk the halls in the Mother/Baby and/or Labor/Delivery units twice a day.  The exercise from ambulating around my room has given me back feeling in one leg, and we're hoping by walking the halls I'll regain the second leg.  I have to admit, it's strange being allowed this activity and it does make me feel more uncomfortable.  This has me worried that it could take a really long time to get any strength back after the baby is born.  But all this activity has done nothing in the way of bringing on contractions - how is it I have less contractions now that I'm off the meds to stop them than I had when I was on the meds?  And of course Mac has decided to be extremely cooperative with every monitor session and be perfectly active.  He may have a decel every now and then that might cause a little worry with the nurses, but my doctor thinks it's just the way he's either laying on or playing with his umbilical cord.  And because the decel is always followed by lots of accelerations, it's not a cause for alarm at this point.  Of course now that I'm ready to have this baby, everything is going smashingly well.  The nurses chide me for wanting to get this baby out, saying I don't know what it's like to be VERY pregnant.  Well, they don't know what it's like to be confined to one room with people monitoring your every move for this long.  So yes, I'm ready, even if I'm not VERY pregnant. 

Adalynn is struggling a bit.  She once again is having problems with being dropped off at the daycare.  She's had some changes there - her teacher retired and her closest friend no longer attends.  The poor girl gets attached to one little friend, only for them to leave shortly thereafter.  I feel bad for her because the bulk of the class is all boys, and the majority of the girls are older than Adalynn.  She's the youngest, and I am not sure if there are any other girls that are 3 years old like her (since they keep leaving).  She's still very sensitive as well and bursts into tears or pouts if we look at her cross-eyed.  I so badly want to be home to take care of her and get her smiling and happy again.  I think right now time is moving too slowly for all of us.

Any Day Now, Please!

According to my husband, the baby is coming on Monday.  He has reasons for this theory that he doesn't want to share until it actually happens, but he's convinced.  I, on the other hand, am more certain that this little bugger will stay put until March.  If there is one thing I've learned about this baby throughout the pregnancy, it's that he's stubborn and he will do the exact opposite of what I want.  What I want is for Eddie's prediction to be true.  Yes, I know that means the baby would still be classified as premature, but not by much.  He has the advantage of being over 5 pounds and already having the steroid so chances are he probably would only have to spend a week in the hospital, which isn't bad at all.  That would give me time to get home and get a few things accomplished and spend some time with Adalynn before her world changes upside down when we bring home her brother.  So, yes, I'm being selfish; I want out of the hospital desperately.  And because of all these reasons, Lil Mac will hold his ground, I'm sure. 

The nurses here told me a horror story (or at least what I would classify as a horror story) of a woman who spent two months on bed-rest here in the hospital only to be sent home, go past her due date, had to be induced, and ended up with a 10 pound baby.  I'm terrified that will be my fate.

So it's a good thing the doctor has given me the green light to "ambulate" around my room.  I no longer am confined to only the bed.  I can be on my feet for longer and wander around aimlessly in circles if I feel like it; I can sit on chairs for meals; I can take longer showers and stand on my feet to do my hair and make-up.  Yesterday's lunch was the first time since the morning of December 30th that I sat at a table to eat.  I felt human.... until I got really uncomfortable and had to go back to bed for the rest of the afternoon.  But it's a start.  I sat on the couch with Adalynn last night to read her book, which was awesome.  Eddie brought me my straightener, so I was finally able to style my hair this morning.  The doctor is hoping this will help build my strength up and get some feeling back in my legs since they've been nothing but pins and needles for weeks now.  I know I still need to take it easy and not go too crazy, but I'm hoping some of this activity will get our son motivated to make his grand entrance.... but not into the toilet.

Drastic Measures

Today is a big day.  I had the last of my meds to stop the contractions at 6:00 this morning.  They are no longer going to do anything to keep the contractions from coming.  And it's February - why is that a big deal?  Because when I first announced I was pregnant and was asked the ever-popular "When are you due?" question, I always responded with "March 14th, but I'd be thrilled to make it to February."  And here we are! 

So wouldn't you know, now that they don't care if I have contractions, I only have one or two contractions per day.  Figures.  What they care about now is the baby's activity.  This has been a rather frustrating experience over the last couple of days because it's resulted in so much extra unnecessary commotion (at least as far as I'm concerned).  Like I said in the last post, the baby needs to have a certain acceleration every X number of minutes and the acceleration needs to last for X amount of time in order to be considered acceptable.  And of course our little boy is as stubborn as his sister and refuses to cooperate when I'm on the monitor.  He's moving around just fine, but he'll get within a beat or two of the "acceptable" range and that's it; or he'll reach it but not stay at that level for the necessary few seconds; or he'll decelerate when I have a rare contraction.  If any of the above happens, the nurses keep me on the monitor for longer than an hour (or put me back on later when I think I'm already done) because they consider him to be "nonreactive".  My afternoon monitoring session yesterday resulted in three hours on the monitor.  This morning's session resulted in additional hour later on that I didn't see coming.  And both times the doctor has ordered an ultrasound to check on the baby to be sure he wasn't in distress.  I personally feel all these measures are drastic and not necessary, but my doctor insists that we have to be cautious considering the situation.  I was so frustrated and at my breaking point yesterday that I was seriously considering walking out of this place.  I don't know if I can get away with that, but can they hold me against my will?  Then again logic tells me that we just had our carpet replaced after the last home birth so I suppose I had better stay put here.

In the meantime, I'm taking drastic measures myself.  I'm trying to do everything I can to get my active boy moving while he's on the monitor versus only when he's off.  I keep tossing and turning to try to find a position that he likes to get him moving.  I keep poking and prodding at him to irritate him to get him to react.   I have started drinking caffeine and consuming more sugar before or during these sessions to try to boost the baby's energy level.  My nurse this afternoon had the same idea and waltzed in here with a pop, ice cream, pudding, and a rice krispies treat for me to snack on during my afternoon session!  Here I am fretting about gaining so much weight, yet look at what I'm putting into my inactive body now.  Sigh.  I just can't win.

So anyways, as soon as I get off the monitor my ornery little boy starts flitting around like crazy and my tummy does it's wild belly dance moves.  Thankfully, with each ultrasound Lil Mac cooperates and shows off how active he is and how he's breathing well and moving around the way they'd like.  He also still has enough fluid in there to be a happy guy and is not in distress at all.  But seriously,  are they really going to require an ultrasound every day?!  It's not even the fun kind - no 3D to get a look at his chubby cheeks and the screen is so grainy I hardly can tell what I'm looking at.  The good news is that he weighs more than his sister did when she came home from the hospital.  He's an estimated 5 pounds 6 ounces right now, and Adalynn was 5 pounds even on the day she left the hospital.  All I can say is that this child will never appreciate what all I've had to go through for him, but he'll certainly be reminded of it over the years every time he stresses me out!