Update: 1.5 Trimesters Down!

From October 20, 2011

Time flies too quickly.  So much has happened since I last journal’ed about this little one.  Thankfully, baby was still with us when we checked in July and has been hanging in there strong ever since.  Mom, on the other hand, isn’t so strong.  I’ve been a nervous wreck, experiencing pelvic pressure and pain already for the last three weeks.  That started to happen about four weeks prior to Adalynn’s arrival so I can’t help but associate it with premature birth.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that everything is still okay, and I won’t go into labor too early with this one.  This pregnancy has been pretty hectic, being considered “high risk” and all.  I’ve been to the doctor every two weeks instead of the standard four.  I’ve been to Iowa City twice for the specialist’s opinion, and they put me on progesterone to help sustain this pregnancy.  I’ve had more ultrasounds in the first two months of this pregnancy than I had with all of my pregnancy with Adalynn.  So far, baby #2 is content where it’s at, and I hope it continues to stay that way.  I know the baby is fine; it’s me I’m worried about.  If something happens, it’s because my body is not good at carrying babies, and it will be my fault.  But aside from all of the worry, things are progressing.  Eddie and I have done some remodeling to the house and have moved downstairs to make room for the baby upstairs in our old room.  We still haven’t figured out storage and closet space yet, but that will come.  Adalynn likes the idea of being a big sister now and while she still requests we give her a “pink sister”, she actually said this morning that she thinks it’s a boy.  That really surprised me because I thought she wouldn’t consider a boy as an option!  Today should be the big day where we find out if our little bouncer in there is a boy or a girl.  Since this baby loves to flip around so much, it’s a possibility it won’t sit still long enough for us to get a good look.  Our ultrasound is tonight so Adalynn will get to join us to see the baby, so that will be fun.  My only fear is that if not tonight then sometime soon my OB will decide to put me on bed rest.  With everything we have to do and a toddler to take care of and a busy work schedule, I can’t see bed rest as being a reasonable option for me.  It’s so unsettling to think I have to sit around and do nothing while Eddie takes care of EVERYTHING.  I worry that he will resent me for all this extra work he’s already had to do up to this point and will have to do as the pregnancy progresses.  Basically, I worry about everything these days! 

Anyway, I was re-reading my initial thoughts when I first found out I was pregnant and have to chuckle.  So far, aside from more appointments, this pregnancy hasn’t been as different as we had hoped.  Because of the miscarry scare early on, a few people found out early about the pregnancy, which isn’t what we wanted.  And unfortunately, I have been even more sick with this child than I was with Adalynn.  I’m at week 19 and while I’m no longer throwing up daily, I’m still vomiting once or twice a week even with the anti-nausea medicine.  I’m even more tired this time than I was with Adalynn as well.  Of course, that could just be because Adalynn now exists and she keeps me on my toes!  Anyway, nothing about this pregnancy so far has been “normal” like I had hoped, but I guess I should have expected the craziness.  The fun part now is watching Adalynn’s enthusiasm grow.  She will sing to my belly, and the baby loves it.  I feel the flutters every time.

Filling Eddie in on the News & Scary Days

From July 8, 2011

When I got pregnant with Adalynn, I broke the news to Eddie by giving him a baby bib with “I love Daddy” written on it.  I wanted to do something similar this time around but was having a hard time finding anything that had “Daddy” on it that wasn’t too gender-specific.  Of course, I didn’t have all the time in the world to shop for the perfect item because I was on a time crunch and had Adalynn with me so in order for her to be patient at the store, we need to keep moving through the aisles at a steady pace.  I did finally find a white onesie with a monkey on it that read “Introducing ME!”  It was adorable.  So last night after I put Adalynn to bed, I sat on the couch with the onesie over my belly and waited for Eddie to walk into the living room.  At first he stopped and stared and then it dawned on him what I was trying to say.  Thankfully, he’s a happy guy.

From July 22, 2011
I have no idea right now if the baby is still with us or not.  It’s been a scary week.  I didn’t bleed during the first pregnancy so it was quite the shock to find a lot of bright red blood in my underwear a couple of days ago.  Based on the initial responses from the on-call doc and ER, it sounded as if I was miscarrying.  Now my OB is providing a glimmer of hope and offering an ultrasound today to see if there is something different going on.  As scared as I was when I found out I was pregnant, I’m even more scared thinking I am going to lose (or have already lost) this baby. 

Letting the News Sink In....

July 7, 2011 - the day I found out I was pregnant with baby #2.  Here are a few excerpts from my mommy journal that day:

 It’s amazing how the same occurrence can result in two completely different reactions.  I remember the first time I saw two lines on the little stick, I cried tears of happiness, jumped up and down overjoyed, and was shaking with excitement.  Today when I saw two lines on the little stick, I stared dumbfounded, silent, and completely still...................
Please don’t misunderstand.  It’s not that I didn’t want another baby.  Eddie and I have always wanted two children, but after what happened with Adalynn, we were a bit leery of going through another pregnancy and delivery.........................

I know my reaction wasn’t the same with this baby as it was with Adalynn; but I would prefer it if everything in this pregnancy/delivery/newborn phase is different than it was with Adalynn so I guess we’re off on the right foot with my hesitant immediate reaction.  As for everything that I would like to be different this time:  I would love it if I wasn’t completely ill and puking for the first 18 weeks; I’d like to hold off announcing the news until I’m further along instead of right away; I want to find out the sex of the baby this time; I am hoping for a full-term pregnancy and maybe even child birth classes since I missed them before; of course I’d much rather be at the hospital while giving birth instead of at home; I’d like to get the newborn pics taken at the hospital like “normal” families; I'd rather not have another baby in the NICU; it would be awesome of baby #2 wasn’t confused about nights and days, was a snuggler, and less cranky than sis.   I wonder if this all is too much to ask?