This is Sarah, and I figured I would just add my thoughts as well. Let me tell you that keeping Mac in the sack has been a brutal process. This magnesium that the have me on (to stop the contractions) has given me the worst night of my life. More than once I burst into tears and begged Eddie to get me out of here. The med makes you nauseaus, gives you a migrain, blurs your vision, and makes your whole body limp and "asleep". On top of that, I have the discomfot of a catheter and the pain of the IV and meds shooting up my arm and being interrupted every 1/2 hour to check my reflexes, temp, and blood pressure since the med is toxic. I got very little sleep last night, and none of it was quality sleep. I'm a complete wreck right now - emotional anyway just because I'm preggers, uncomfortable, and now completely exhausted on top of it all. I almost think it was easier having a baby at home.
I know I had originally wanted to have visitors, but unfortunately this hasn't been the hospital stay that I thought it would be. I figured I would just be laying around in bed, but instead I'm downright miserable. I'm in no shape for company, and I really hope you understad. If I get off this med and am able to get cleaned up and feel more human again someday, then I'll let you know I'm ready to be seen.
We're still waiting on the doctor to come check in today. Hopefully I haven't dilated any more and I'm still just at a 1. She's already talked to the NICU doc who says he'd rather our baby be born in either IA City or Peoria before 32 weeks so there's still a possibility I'll get moved to one of those hospitals if I show any signs of laboring further. Obviously I don't want to be away from Eddie and Adalynn like that, but I need to be sure Mac gets the best care possible, especially with him being a boy and the difficulties premature boys face. It's frustrating because I really like my doctor and I don't want anyone other than her delivering our son. I guess what I want doesn't matter though.
I keep battling the "stupid me" blues. I'm stupid because I should have known this was going to happen based on our history, yet we tried for a second baby anyway. I guess I just assumed it would be better this time around because the medical professionals all seemed to think it would be - that what happened with Adalynn was a fluke occurrence and I'd be monitored more closely this time so things should go much smoothly. Yet this has been a worse pregnancy than the first and if anything, the stress of the premature labor is that much harder this time around because we also have our little girl at home to worry about. It's not like we can concentrate solely on Mac like we did with Adalynn. Thankfully, Addy loves her grandparents and they have been superstars helping us out with her and taking good care of her. A big shout-out here to Nana and Papa! I also want to send kudos and appreciation to my husband. Eddie has been awesome getting so much down around the house so there is less for me to worry about while I'm stuck in the hospital. I really appreciate everyone's support, but most of all we need those prayers. Please keep praying that our little guy stays put and selfishly pray that we can stay here in town. Thank you, all, and Happy 2012.
I know you're worried about being away from Adalynn and how hard it is not to be there for her/with her. Sounds like she is doing great with your parents though, and I'm sure she's having fun with them. Although it is tough now, believe me she won't remember it once the baby is here and things get back to normal. I don't know if this will make you feel better, but I just thought I'd share in case it helps. I was talking to Kyra the other day about life before Evan. She told me she doesn't remember when it was just her and mommy and daddy. When I asked her about specific events that happend before Evan, she remembered some of them (the fun ones like birthdays, a concert we took her to), but not very many. She remembers nothing from when she was 2 and very little from when she was 3. She was almost 4 when Evan was born. I swear it's like her mind reprogrammed when she turned 4. It's weird. But when I think back to my childhood, I remember very little from when I was young, and what I do remember was from age 4 and later. So just know that as hard as it is, this is just one blip in the road and Addy won't even remember you being away for so long months from now. She will be so excited when you bring her baby brother home. Once you all adjust to being a family of 4, life before baby Mac will seem a distant memory.
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