Bittersweet

This is Sarah - I'm back and trying to figure out this laptop.
Today was a bittersweet day.  It started off great; Doc took me off the "mag" (their lingo for that awful magnesium) so I am no longer hooked up to an IV.  I feel more human again because I could finally shower and see clearly.  The contractions are more rare now so either the mag worked or the other med I'm on (which is oral and doesn't mess with my body) or just the bedrest itself.  Lil Mac is still fine and rolling around like normal, not making it easy to locate him from time to time.  The nurse said all the babies were wiggly jiggly today so it wasn't just our little man.  I will stay on the oral med for just a little while longer - I can only be on it for 72 hours.  So once that is done, I will have no medicine to stop the contractions, which has me concerned.  Of course, if they start up again the doctor will put me back on the mag.  I'm worried that I will have the same terrible reaction to it should that happen, but hopefully my body has adjusted enough by now that it shouldn't be a problem.  We shall wait and see.

My parents brought Adalynn to town to see me.  It was wonderful spending some time with her.  One of the techs here brought Addy a few movies to watch (my room is in the old part of the hospital and only has VHS) so I wasn't sure what kind of variety we would get.  What do you know - she brought Adalynn's current favorite movie, Beauty and the Beast.  Boy was she excited and she even thanked the tech on her own.  The hard part was when it was time for Eddie and Adalynn to leave.  The reality set in that this will be the last time I will see them for a while (until this weekend) and that they are going back to their "normal" lives - with Eddie to work and Adalynn to Just Kids and I'm stuck here away from them completely missing everything.  I tried to hold it together but when Addy said she wanted to stay at the hospital with me, I lost it.  I've been crying ever since they left.  My daughter is not the most empathetic or emotional person at all, and I am okay with it.  She is who she is, and I love her even if she is not emotional.  So needless to say, it took me by surprise to see her get upset and not want to leave me.  It was defnitely an emotional "good bye" tonight.

But let's look at the bright side - they are taking really good care of me here.  I know I was relunctant to come and I didn't want to leave town, but I can't complain.  The nurses, the techs, the docs, and even the cleaning and food staff have been very accommodating.  I like where I'm at right now where I'm allowed to get up to use the bathroom instead of having a catheter, and they don't bug me every hour while I try to sleep in this wing.  So what if I can't turn the TV off from my bed, or warm up this room from it's subzero temp, or get a hot shower for more than 2 seconds.  All that pales in comparison to the fact that they have stopped my contractions and have kept my son inside me into the new year.  I truly hope I can stay put in this room for the next 2-3 weeks until it's "safe" enough for me to come home to Trinity.  I just hope I can handle the weeks without my family without going into emotional distress.  In the meantime, while it's Eddie and Adalynn back at home, it's me and Mac here just chilling.  I'm not alone.