Livin' Nomad Style

I have no place to call home.  Every time I get settled in somewhere, I have to pack up and move on to the next location.  I am back now in my old room in the Mother/Baby unit, but I am not unpacking this time around because I have a feeling I could be back in Labor & Delivery at any minute.  They have proved that any time there is a scare, they have no problems up and moving me to L&D for fear of another blink-of-an-eye delivery.  I suppose I understand the concern after what happened with Adalynn, but this certainly isn't convenient for me at all.  I know this sounds terrible, but I am more than ready for this pregnancy to be over with so I can go home and stay put.  I have put my daughter and my husband on the back-burner for too long, and it's really taking a toll on them and on me.  Every person who sees Eddie comments on how tired he looks.  Of course he's tired - he's been a single dad for a month now.  And while Adalynn has improved since I've been back in the QC, things just aren't the same.  She is back to crying when being dropped off at daycare and she keeps telling her little bro that she wants to meet him soon - probably because she knows that the sooner he is here, the sooner I am coming home.  The poor girl is already going to have to share all her time and attention with a new baby soon enough, but she's been robbed of the last month or more of mommy time prior to his birth as well.  I feel incredibly guilty depriving her like that, and on the same token I feel guilty for wishing Lil Mac would just come out already because it's still a bit early yet and for his sake, I need to try to hold him in a bit longer.  I'm a bad mom to one of them, no matter how you look at it. 

This morning's monitor session was fine contraction-wise, but our little man is not showing the activity they would prefer to see.  This has caused some concern so I got put back on the monitor again.  Apparently they need to see accelerations in his heart rate of 15 from the baseline every so often in order for the strip to be considered okay.  Thankfully, he had the required 3 minimum accelerations on the test strip this morning in order for me to avoid L&D for now.  We'll wait and see what this afternoon's monitor session brings.  I have to admit, he's been pretty mellow today and I haven't felt him move as much as normal, other than the hiccups he seems to get more often these days.  So I do have a concern that I'll once again be packed up from my more comfortable surroundings and thrown into the chaotic L&D wing.  Just call me Mama Nomad.