I guess what is driving me crazy is that it seems every nurse has an issue with my daily monitoring sessions. The last couple of days, I've had what is considered "normal" sessions - where the baby is looking good (heart rate where it should be and moving well with no sign of stress) and I have 4 or less contractions per hour-long session. Yet even though this is good, most of the nurses drill me about those few contractions..... Did you feel anything? Are you sure you didn't feel anything? No tightening or pressure? Are you sure there was no cramping or anything? And so it goes, and each time I helplessly have to tell them "No, I don't feel anything" when I really want to scream "Of course I don't feel anything - that's why I'm here in the first place!!!!!" Every time the nurse gives me a look that either says (a) I think you're lying or (b) I think you're an idiot and completely clueless for not feeling any of these contractions. I accepted this initially, but now their reactions are really bothering me. Look, I wish I could feel these so-called contractions, but I don't. I can tell you what I do feel: discomfort from lying around all day long, heartburn that makes me want to throw up, numb legs and hips from having to always be on my side, a constant urge to use the restrom, and a baby that is kicking my insides to a pulp. And now I feel guilty because I'm wishing I was a good enough mother to feel what the nurses want me to feel. I'm an inadequate mom to Adalynn right now, and apparently I am to Lil Mac too because I can't seem to feel any warning signs of his possible early arrival. So yes, I get down and a bit snippy or weepy.
The good news is that for the first time today, I can actually say I experienced some tightening in the lower abdomen. This happened in my afternoon monitor session, and Eddie looked up at the screen and sure enough - I was having a contraction. Finally! There's some hope for me after all. Not that I want to be having contractions, but I do want to know what to expect so I can tell the staff if I have any when I'm not on the monitor.
I'm now further along in this pregnancy than I was with Adalynn. While this isn't the setting, the background, or the attire I had in mind for our little black-and-white photo shoot, Eddie did a couple of pictures. Perhaps not ideal, but I'll take what I can get.
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| My kids............... |
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| Exhausted from this craziness |
This is Emma. Thank you for updating your blog!I'm glad you and Mac are doing good! Love you <3.
ReplyDeleteI love the pics! Great job, Eddie! You girls look beautiful. Addy and Annabelle, look alike, I think! Our little guy is moving like crazy, too! Just so different from the movement I had with Annabelle.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I can't imagine how I would be feeling, having the same questions asked of me every day! On top of that mood swings sky rocket in the last tri! Ask my poor husband, who has been getting the brunt of that... A lot of women don't feel contractions, even in labor! My friend out here didn't, until she was almost fully dilated. Hang in there, and here's to another day past 30w3d! Kristy
Beautiful pictures! Don't let the nurses get to you. I think sometimes they become desensitized due to the nature of their job, but you can't take it personally. There is nothing wrong with you at all. A lot of women don't feel early contractions. You are a great mom, and you're doing everything you can right now for both of your kids. It's a tough time right now, but this too shall pass. I remember how hormonal I felt with both of my pregnancies, especailly with Evan, and that was under normal circumstances. I was crying in the doctor's office the day I was induced with Evan. I couldn't control it. The nurse was sweet about it, but I felt like an idiot. I think you are holding up amazingly well.
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